Birthday

So today is my birthday. And it was great because I got to celebrate it in Japan First off, Kaiyo Elementary School celebrated it with me. Sato-san baked me a cake...and just like last time it was totally hand made. But this cake was really good...the strawberries were really sweet and it was super moist...and so much love baked in!!! SO MUCH! They kids and teachers sang me a song...it was great.

Afterwards...we flew paper airplanes in the gym. And at Kaiyo...you don't just fly kami hikouki. You bat them down with giant fans and nets. Take a look at the photos above. On of the reasons I love this school so much is because they do the most bizarre things. First the somen slide, and now the kami hikouki bat-down!

OH...I almost forgot...before all of this, we had a marathon. It was fun...I was asked if I wanted to volunteer. So I paricipated in the 3km race with 5th and 6th graders. I needed the excercise. I had a lot of fun...I just kept pace with Naoya, one of my students, so it was OK.

So now, I just returned from a grown up party. Some drinking was definitly done. I love my eikawa...they're so cool. First off, they made me okonomiyaki, my FAVORITE Japanese food of all time! Then they gave me some awesome gifts. I got an onsen kit complete with charcoal soap, a sponge, some water balloons, and a water gun. (It's an inside joke...I mentioned if I should bring a water gun or balloons to an onsen) I applaud them for creativity. I also got a classic Mickey Mouse mug and a Shiretoko T-shirt. My high school JTE gave me the T-shirt...I told him that in America, Americans love kanji and they think it's really cool (which it is) so many Americans like to get souveniers or even tatoos of kanji. I got a T-shirt...and I definitly think it's cool. But he advises me not to wear it in Japan cause people will look at me weird.

3 day weekends!

JESUS! I had a fun packed 3-day weekend. I spent it with some Brit JETS. They kept making fun of my American accent. Funny that. They were really good at imitating American accents...but I can't do a British accent worth shit.

So Friday, we spent our day at Safeway, not a convenient store...a bar. They had some DJs there and I got to get some clubbing in. It felt so good to get my groove on again. They played everything Japanese: rock, pop, hip hop. There was also one set of American rock. Mostly everything was dance-able.

The next day, we went to Shibetsu for the Salmon Festival. There was a lot of salmon! Salmon hearts, salmon on a stick, fried salmon, ikura (salmon eggs)...you name it. Me and the mates went to the bridge to see the salmon in the river. It was very sombering...because I learned after the salmon lay their eggs...they begin to die. They travel all the way from CA to die in Japan, just to make sure the foundation of the next generation of salmon is settled.

OH! There was also something called the Salmon Dash. It looks like a lot of fun, but a bit barbaric. So, the unlike salmon that didn't get to lay their eggs, they get snatched up and put into a man made wading pool. Then when the race begins, the racers run to the pull grab one of the salmon then run back to the start of the race then placed in a bag where they suffocate to death. Sometimes they are dropped or dragged on the ground in the process. But apart from that...it does look like fun.

Later that day, we went to Betsukai to watch a Japanese rock concert. Nobody famous...but a fun time was had by all and we got to see some cool Japanese fashion.

The next day, me and the ladies went to the Betsukai "zoo." They had every farm animal imaginable and some monkeys. It was very entertaining. I really enjoyed the bunnies.

Afterwards, we went back to Nakashibetsu and ate at Monkichi for some okonomiyaki and monjayaki. Mmmm! Then we went to go bowling. I loved it! Nobody was good, so we were at the same level. And unlike in America, we kept cheering for each other. Usually, me and the mates at home would try to get into each other's head and psyche each other out. Every time somebody was up we were like, "Go Andy! Come on Zov...you can do it! Show us how's it done girl! WHOO!" It was so positive and uplifting. Usually, I leave a bowling game feeling like crap...but I came in 3 out of 4...and everybody felt like a winner! We then went upstairs and played video games in the arcade. And today...I'm knackered.

Where are you going?

So today, I experienced the "I'm afraid of the gaijin" feeling. After lunch, all the children ran away from me when I asked where I should put my tray. I don't know why they were so afraid because I was asking in Japanese. Anyways...I stopped Keita, one of my kids, and I MADE him show me where to put it.

Keita is a cool kid. He looks a lot like Hiro from Heroes. I told my JTE, Keiko, about Heroes. I got her and the rest of the Kenebetsu Jr. High staff really excited about Heroes. It's going to premiere in Japan soon (if it hasn't already).

They asked me with Masi Oka (the actor that plays Hiro). They asked me if Shinzo Abe or Masi Oka was more famous. I told them, unfortuanately, Masi Oka is more famous. They got a good laugh.

Speaking of which...I had my enkai with my HS JTE, Hasakeyama-san. We traded Japanese and American jokes. This is the Japanese joke they told me:

A man goes to a restaurant and gets full. He returns home to his wife. When he returned, his wife had made him a cake.

... ... ...

They looked at me. ... ... ... Waiting for me to laugh.

"That's it? ... That's the joke? ... I don't get it." Something definitly got lost in translation.

So I told them my joke:

Two potatoes are sitting in a frying pan. One potato says to the other, "Man! It's hot in here!" The other potato looks at him, "AAAAAAAH! ANOTHER TALKING POTATO!"

They were ROLLING! I felt like Robin Williams or Whoopie Goldberg. They laughed so hard. I heard them talking to each other in Japanese, "AAH! Potatoes aren't supposed to talk!"

Me: Ah! So so so!

It was great. So to all my American friends that say that joke is lame, "F*ck you! That joke kills in Japan!"

So today, I'm going to enjoy my FIRST onsen! I'm really looking forward to it! Hasakeyama-san (I really need to come up with a nickname for him) is going to take me. Lots of naked time! Wish me luck!

Kussharo Lake and Kenebetsu Junior High

Kussharo Lake

So this weekend, me and a bunch of friends went to Kussharo Lake. It rained on Saturday and everybody was misreable. It was wet and dark, and you couldn't see where you were going. There was an outdoor onsen, a rokubin or something like that. It was really enjoyable, even though we all smelled like sulpher afterwards. I'm glad I got in there before one of the other gaijin broke a wine bottle inside it.

On Sunday, I took a group of people to my town 45 minutes east of the campgrounds. I wanted to take them to Monkichi, my favorite (and only) okonomiyaki/monjayaki restaurant in Nakashitbetsu, but it was closed. So we went to Tobu and they were INCREDIBLY excited to see Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Baskin Robbins, and KFC all in one place. I could've cared less, but seeing all their eyes light up...it was worth it.

The trip overall was decent. I even have a new cocktail that my friend, Chris, invented: melon soda and vodka. Now I gotta find melon soda in my local conbini.

Ever since I came to Japan, I've grown a fond interest in cantaloupe. I didn't like cantaloupe in America, cause it didn't taste that great and was kinda bland. Here in Japan, they know how to grow them until they are truly ripe. It is SO good. But they also sell melon for $20 a piece...it's good, but it's not that good. But I normally by them by the half...$5 a half.

Kenebetsu Junior High

Today, I taught my first day of jr. high. Unlike my high school students, some of them like English and want to speak to me in English. One of my students, Tahiro, REALLY wanted to talk to me. He's really tall...185 centimeters. Keiko-sensei told me that he NEVER had an interest in English before today. I felt REALLY good after hearing this.

So me and Tahiro started talking. At first in English, but then we switched to only Japanese. I felt so sorry for him because he was trembling the entire time we talked. I kept asking him "Daijoubu desuka? Daijoubu? Are you alright?" But I can tell he was really excited...I think. Keiko-sensei said this was the first time he saw this behavior, "I never saw him so excited to speak English before." So I'm glad that I'm making a difference in his life.

Culture Shock we meet again!

So I came across 2 hilarious instances of Japanese/English. Last night, I was teaching my eikawa class (my adult English class). I was teaching Conditionals (should, would, could). At the end of class, I asked everybody, "I am going to an onsen (hot spring). What should I bring?" I thought it was a good subject, and I wanted to know for my own knowledge since I haven't been yet. So we went through the normal stuff like towels, shampoo, etc. Then jokingly, I threw in, "Should I bring a water gun? Could I bring a water baloon?" They enjoyed that. Then Yukari threw in, "I think you should bring your bladder!"

"Excuse me?"

"I think you should bring your bladder!"

"Like this bladder? (I place my palm over my bladder)"

"Yes...because the water is so deep."

I was very confused. I definitly intend to bring my bladder...you know...since I'm kinda connected to it.

I talked to Yukari after class. We talked about the subject for about 10 minutes, cause I had a REALLY good feeling she wasn't talking about the same bladder I was thinking about. And apparently, a bladder can also be translated as a floaty toy. You know...like the little inner tubes you wrap around your waist when you're a kid.

I told her that I translated bladder as that bag inside your body that holds urine. We had a good laugh. And I told her, "OH! I was thinking I needed to bring my bladder just in case I might drown...so I can rocket myself to the surface of the onsen with my stream of urine. Do people pee in onsens?"

A great laugh was had by all.

So today...an even better story. I was talking to my JTE at the HS, cracking jokes, and he told me in a quiet low voice, "You are so freakin' tight."

"Excuse me?"

"You are so...freakin' tight."

Me in my head: "Um...and how would you know?"

I told him the sexual connotation that the phrase could have. I told him, "You see...when you're in bed...and it feels really good (at this point, I'm miming a slow grinding motion with my hips), you can tell your partner, 'You are so freakin' tight.' And by this phrase,　we are talking about her vagina...her vagina is really tight."

At this point, he is rolling on the ground. He thought that "to be freakin' tight" was to be really funny. Which would've been the case in 1990, but today, it has taken on a sexual connotation (or at least it has with me).

So I continue the internationalization process by teaching him some other phrases with "tight." Consider the following:

To be a tight wad: "Dude...you didnt leave a tip?! You are so frickin' tight."

To be close friends with somebody: "Alvin and Brian? Oh yeah, we're tight."

So to make a fair trade, I made him teach me a Japanese phrase. I've learned "onara suru" "he wo koku" and "onaru." I love Japan.

Tomamae camping and Nogyo High School

Tomamae Camping

So this past weekend, I took a camping trip. My first stop was at Stephen's house in Monbetsu. The trip was supposed to take me 3 hours, but Andy being Andy, I turned it into a 6-hour drive. I HATE DRIVING! When I finally got there, all I wanted to do was fall asleep.

The next day, we went to Tomamae, another 3 hour trip, but it took us 5 hours. So the camping trip was great. We had charred yakiniku and yakisoba. The yakisoba was good, but I wasn't a fan of the burnt yakiniku.

When some people were drunk, we took a trip down to the beach where the Americans and the South African (yes, there was only one) had a wrestling match. The Americans won. But the fight was dirty...somehow how, John, the South African, got a hold of a dirty diaper and chased the Americans around the beach. Great laughs. Sorry, no photos.

Nogyo High School

Eeeh...so I've started high school. It's not as fun as my elementary schools, but it has it's own charm, I guess. So my first day, I had my 3rd years. I walked into class and I spotted this girl...

Me in my head: OK, I KNOW you're the problem child, because you're the prettiest one!

I was right. She was loud. She was talking to her friend and showing off her new shirt, which was nothing but a white T-shirt with VIP written in black letters on it. Nothing special.

So I wasn't having none of this...so I did my best to talk over her. And it came to question time, and nobody had a question. So I started asking the class questions. Especially...her.

Me (in a sassy "Don't mess with me" accent): You...what's your name?
Girl: Nani?
Me: Namae...nan...desu...ka? (if I could do it over again, I'd snap my fingers with each word)
Girl: (something I can't remember...Fukubi or something like that)
Me: What are your hobbies? HOBBIES! What are they?
Girl: Nani?
Me: Shumi...SHUMI! Nan...desu...ka?

So this went on for about 5 minutes. I wanted to shake her in her seat. Cause, girl! You don't mess with a Vietnamese American from San Diego! I'll f*ck you up...shoot.

But I made sure I asked everybody the same questions. But I was nicer to the other students.

The HS kids are great. The guys love me cause they see all my photos with all my female friends, and they all think I'm a stud, even though I tell them they're just friends.

They asked me my penis size. I said it was personal. If I could do it over again, I would say something like 5 meters or so. I don't get recess...but at least I get an enkai out of it! WHOO HOO! (but I'd rather have recess)

Surprise Birthday Party

OK...so I had my first surprise birthday party. The thing is...it's not my birthday. My birthday is on 9/26. I was very surprised. I figured we were just going to a party and we were going to eat and drink.

I was chatting with the Japanese when all of the sudden the lights dimmed. Everybody walks in with a lit birthday cake.

Me: OH! Who's birthday is it?
Minoru: It's my birthday.
Everybody else: And yours too!
Me in my head: WTF?!? My birthday isn't until another 20 days or so!

It was fun...and the cake was made from scratch, even the strawberries were homegrown. Very tastey, and lots of love in the cake.

One man was very annoying. Our relationship started out lovely. He spoke phenomenal English, so that was good. Then he started drinking. Alot. I should've known to get out when he started swaying and slurring his speech. His English started to degrade with every glass.

Anonymous Japanese man: YOU KNOW! He said...NICE man. And, he trying to say...nice MAN. I'm sorry, he say...NICE MAN! BUS! You know?!"

Me: OK, I got a subject, an adjective, and what seems be a direct object. I need more, man! I NEED MORE!

Bad English is 100-percent forgivable in Japan. But then he started to get slap happy. He started slapping my thigh and my back, and putting his ear next to my mouth if he didn't understand something I said. OMG!

Then, it was time to go. So I thought I was rid of him. NOOO! Apparently, my ride was going to give him a ride.

Me: OK, but I'm not sitting next to his slap-happy-drunk@$$.

Honestly, it was a great night. And it makes a great story, I think. What do you think boys and girls? Yeah?! YEAH!

OH, and to conclude, he wants me to go to some concert and pick up some 50-60 year old babes on the 16th. I CAN'T WAIT! I told him I had to check my schedule.

Japanese Goal

So this weekend, I had nothing to do, so I rented some DVDs. I rented some Naruto, even though I can't understand 3/4 of it. I also rented Anpanman. It's a kids show...very interesting. Kids LOVE Anpanman, and so do I. The Japanese is easy, I don't understand a whole lot of it...but the animation is great and I can figure out what's going on.

So my goal for the next year is to be able to sing the Anpanman theme song at Karaoke bars! I got the romaji, and I plan to learn that first...then I will do my best to sing it using the katakana, hiragana, and kanji that they display on the show. It may not be the ''best'' way to learn Japanese, but it's an advancement nonetheless. Ganbarimasu!